On Thursday, May 3rd, 2012 Joe Pera was unable to host his open mic “The Comedic Explorers’ Club of Long Island City, West”. Before the show I had received this telegraph, explaining the situation.
It is with a heavy heart that I write you from my hometown of Buffalo, amongst the frozen wastes where a nighttime chill can steal the life of even the burliest of Christian men.
The Summer Thaw is in full swing and Papa has summoned me to take part in the Acorn Harvest. As we all know, Winter in upstate New York can last 11 months and our efforts now mean the difference between life and death, as we sit in the darkness drinking acorn wine, spiced acorn cider, and acorn tequila… which, truth be told, is just some Jose Cuervo we found in an upturned tractor trailer in 1996.
However, it’s not all fun and games. Raiding parties from Ithica and Syracuse have been constantly pillaging our forests and our mayor says we must strike back with the ferocity and cunning of the noble Yeti. The promises of fresh apples, glory, and plenty of comely young “snow brides” have called many young men to take arms in the upcoming battle.
Oh dear, Papa is calling for me. Wolves got into the elk pen again. I swear, when I finally turn 21 I will leave this place and never come back… Joke onward, my friends. Joke on and know my thoughts are with you…
except Jeff Wesselschmidt, that acorn-thieving bastard.
Yours in Odin’s Love,